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There are over 22,000+ comments from wonderful humans on this website. Smart, funny, poignant, silly, heartbreaking, inane, beautifully constructed and sometimes, interestingly spelled.
Decades of tiny pieces from briefly inspired humans.
Here are just a few of the great ones…
1 of 7
A true original. Thank you for sharing your genius with the world; you’ve made a lifelong fan out of this American lady
My Aunty in the UK went to get her grandson a copy of ‘You so F*****g Rock’ she couldn’t bring herself to say the word to ask for it so she phoned her daughter and got her to say it over the phone!!!
My daughter turned me on to you and said, “Don’t you think grandma would have liked him?” The answer was, “Yes, she would have loved him!” My mom was a professional piano player and her favorite stuff to play was silly, old songs from the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, but especially parodies. I grew up listening to her play crazy, little, unknown tunes, then sharing with my friends. I have so missed her and can’t begin to thank you enough for working hard to become famous so you could share this great musical niche.
I’m an agnostic in southern Oregon, USA…Maybe , I’m the only one. Today, I listened to White wine in the sun. It was the first time since I played it to the most wonderful Mum a man could ask for. She left this earth, last January. No, I don’t know where she went. But she sure did love that song. I played it for her last Christmas, when she was so ill. I just want to tell you thank you, for putting a smile and a tear to both of our faces.
I bought a park, this summer. No, its a first for me. I bought it, because Mum would have wanted me to. Mum used to swim there, with all us kids, in the best swimming hole in Oregon. . I’m naming it Merete’s Cove after my Mum.Its one of the worlds most beautiful places. I’m trying to build a beautiful bandstand there. Mum loved music. I welcome you to sing there someday. I know its a little crazy. But including you, there would be at least two Atheists near the stage. Three including my sweet daughter, Brook, who also loves your music. Maybe I dream too big……. Either way, My family will be listening to white wine in the sun, this Christmas, and thinking of Mum.
Hi Tim – My wife and I saw you in Thousand Oaks on Saturday and said “hello” afterwards. We’re the couple from Phoenix who mentioned to you that I played piano and sang at her over the Internet and in return she married me. Pretty good trade, honestly. We made it back safely, by the way. Anyway I just wanted to drop a note to say thank you for such a fantastic show, and your transformative influence on my life. I’m very very very happy to be able to say that I shook your hand, and I’m very very very sad that I declined to be in the picture that you took with my wife. Come back soon!
fuk yes but don eva fukn talk bout pregnat nuns cos they cum 2 yr hous n yr mums stops u usin yr fukn pc 4 a wile
ps mail me if ur hothahaha
luv grant
hi tim i put a revew of ur show on my site u shd chek it out its fukn wkd
hahaha
luv grant
Hey Tim&Co.
I first saw u(tim) @ moorabbin town hall in 05 and was soooooo fu***ng impressed-u r a genius. My sister thinks ur weird and even though i sort of agree, i still think u r awsome-kEEP IT UP.
Hey hey tim, the donut shop that I work at (Puffin Fresh Whitfords City, Perth) just started distributing Canvas Bags. Well not canvas as such, but those big reusable hard plasticy ones. I’m not too sure what they’re actually made of, but I’m very glad, because I was previously getting told off by my boss for not offering customers plastic bags to put their multiple donuts in. ‘It can’t be that hard to just *carry* them, guys, Do it for the environment.’ But apparently there’s no room for environmental friendliness in the world of donut retail.
Well g2g, I’m off to work :D
was the photographer at your radio recording at the drill hall london on the 2 nov which was great fun…loved the song about pigs very funny,hope to catch a show at the duchess got some great shots for the bbc too!!!!
To Blake:
I really meant that i dont think
We get circumsised
You get circumsised
Why not get circumsised togethor would sound as good as.
We dont eat pigs etc.
Maybe i was wrong…
Your music has been with me through some tough times in America. I am a Black woman. I don’t have much hope for changing my stars. But hearing your excellent voice rock n rolling my troubles away… at least for a day… keeps me sane. I know you do the same for millions around the world. It was my birthday a few days ago. I turned 46. I hope to see you live again before I reach 50. I promised my niece (she’s always challenging me) that I would chase one dream this year. I hope I don’t sound too weird when I say, I want to sit in that future audience of Minchin fans and scream my head off for you again. My humble dream. Much love from Portland, Oregon USA.
Thanks for the positive in this sea of controversy. I liked your message so much I bought the book!
Hi Tim. Mike from Tampa here. Once you hit 70, you start thinking of things you’d like to do while you still can. My daughter and I saw your NYC TM & his Piano and London Songs the World Will Never Hear shows. Hard to to top that. Then it hit me. Dream big! Would you consider bringing back your Royal Albert Hall Orchestra show? I’m a tennis player. Your NYC and London shows coincided with the US Open and Wimbledon. It was much easier selling going across the pond to my velp, if I also got to attend one of the majors. Thanks. Mike
I’m thankful you came to Toowoomba. Watching real people with really amazing talent was a blast of fresh air, blowing away the junk that builds up from scrolling. Phew, you came in time. Thanks again xxxx
Dearest Tim, I just wanted to post a thank you / congratulations, to you and your team on the end of your tour; the gig in Toowoomba was the perfect finale! Thank you for sharing your new work with us tonight, we could all see what it meant to you, although I did have a pretty good view of your celebratory Hi-5 during the next number. I am just hoping that tonight you felt the love of an entire generation of students, from one of those special tax exempt organisations, here in Toowoomba. Starting them with ‘Storm’ in the middle years Philosophy elective, and always ending with your UWA speech for the Yr 12’s…I’m not saying that you are a ‘tool’, but you know what? You were a great tool! Someone, whose intelligence and wit opened the eyes of a generation, and more importantly, gave hope to those who thought, or were at a minimum, interested in thinking… Love your work – its importance simply can’t be measured!
Hi Tim, I was listening to White Wine in the Sun again today. It pops up in my social media memories all the time because I’ve shared it so much over the years. My Dad really loved Christmas — he loved having everyone around him. He passed away in 2019, on the 17th of December, at 80 years of age. He just wanted to make it to one more Christmas. Upright came out that same month. The song Carry You, and the series itself, absolutely broke me… but somehow carried me through as well. I don’t think I really grieved in the way I expected to until this year. Suddenly, it’s hitting me like a train.I really miss him. This Christmas it will be just my Mum and me. I’m towing my little 1986 Viscount caravan up to the lake at Wooroonook, Victoria, to try to make something meaningful of the day for her. She’s 81 now and struggling to get around. My brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, and even my sons won’t be there. It’s going to be a hard one. Christmas just doesn’t bring me joy anymore. But still, I’ll sip white wine in the sun, think of my Dad, and try to make a happy memory with Mum — because I know her time is drawing close too. I just wanted to say thank you. Your music has a way of touching people at their deepest places, and these songs have been a part of my healing more than you could know. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family and I hope you keep writing the kind of music that reaches people when they need it most. Thank you ~ Megan xo
Dear Tim. We went to your concert in Canberra tonight. We have to drive 2 +1/2 hours and stay overnight. It was very well worth that effort. There were many moments that made us laugh and cry and think deeply about my life and where to from here. We are in our senior years and enjoyed it all immensely. We have followed your career from the beginning and as rusted on nerds will continue to do so. I saw Matilda the musical live in Sydney and enjoyed that very much. Would love to see Groundhog if it comes our way. Thanks again for all the music and the chat. Loved it all. Love to you and your family. Coral
I saw your show in Brisbane on Friday with my partner. I have never seen a crowd so obedient to putting their phones down. We all desperately wanted to photograph the real life Tim Minchin for ourselves. Many took the sneaky blurry shots that will forever be the bragging point over Christmas dinner. The recovery from accidentally entertaining the comedian in the crowd, to the perfectly balanced sound was amazing. Thank you for giving us almost an hour of extra entertainment. Absolutely worth it. I’m so glad I saw this before seeing Metallica tickets. It would have been a hard choice. Probably would have still chosen you. This is a big tick on my life bucket list.
Hi Tim. Mike from Tampa here. My daughter and I loved yer show at the Apollo. Matilda at Cambridge there’s… no words. The London sites and a day at Wimbledon after 7 hours on the que. Could’ve been perfect, butt…You didn’t do Airport Piano, so this is all your fault. I had to do it. I’m a 70, mediocre singer, though energetic and enthusiastic. I sang Airport Piano at Karaoke last night. Sounds ok but… I live in a nudist resort. My 70 y/o 140lb nekid scrawny bod singing my favorite song. I’d include a vid, except cameras are not allowed…
Hi. I just wanted to say. I’m finally listening to “Time Machine” (I was going to do it sooner, but it felt so weird to do so right after Tom died. I felt like I had to listen to him for awhile first). And I got to The Song of The Masochocist… and broke down crying. When “Apart Together” came out it was not a good time. For anyone really. I’m in the US and it was just. SO BAD. And then that album came out and I listened on repeat. And it made things better. I would just lay in bed as it felt like we were in the 10th, 11th, 12th month of the apocalypse and would cry as songs like “The Absence of You” comforted me against the absence of the WORLD. Because that was it, the whole WORLD was a hole and it was missing and everything was horrible. And “Apart Together” was what kept ME together. And listening to “Time Machine”, 4 tracks in, and I broke down sobbing because I had somehow forgotten just how much hearing your music when I’m in a dark place, like I am again, can just mend me and make it ok. Even for a little bit. And I had always hoped someday I could tell you that in person but, I’m an American, nope, so here I am. Anyway, thanks. For putting this box here and for making all the music you do. I’ve been listening for a long time, and you’ve gotten me through so much. Thank you for everything.
This is silly because I don’t really think you will read it in person but I still want to say Thank you for saving my marriage! We’ve been through a lot and there are so many times I’ve just wanted to walk away from everything. It took me a long time to discover you (since I live in Sweden where “everyone” says “Heh, Tim who?”) but the two first songs I heard were White wine in the sun (which reminded me of the importance of family) and Not perfect (which reminded me that I am pretty nice and can stand myself). Your rock ‘n’ roll nerding makes me happy and your love songs make me sad and happy at the same time and I confess the huuuuge confirmation biases ? My 50th birthday was coming up and I felt trapped, old and unloved. I thought about spending it in Paris all by myself. Then you unveiled your UK tour! Bam! I bought tickets to Edinburgh and told my husband that he could come with me if he promised to try to understand WHY I really had to go and he was not allowed ruin it! He prepared by listening to the songs and our kids gave him “clues and keys to mummy” and he nailed them all. I haven’t felt so loved in years! And to be there seeing and hearing you live, sharing tears of laughter and touched hearts, feeling his eyes on me when I was ALIVE for the first time in years and holding his hand to all the lovesongs (including the boobs ?)… yes, you saved us. Thank you ??
…and here is the rest…
March 2008
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Hey Tim, my friend and I met you at the Fringe in Edinburgh in 06, awesome show. You signed his canvas bag which he’ll treasure forever! Just wondering if you’ll ever get out to snowy Canada? We make good cookies here! And I promise, it’s not always snowy. Keep us posted! And keep the good tunes coming.
Hey Tim!
Just want to send you an email now before you become so famous
around the world you will never have time to read emails!
I saw “So Live” for the first time last night and I wet my pants
three times! You are Brilliant!!!!!! My family and I are now huge
fans and will be following everything you do. Hope to see you live
one day!!! take care
samantha
ey tim, your a bloody legend! hope i can see you live in syd some day, twood be mad shit. keep up the song writing mate and good luck for the futur
Brilliant work, not perfect and dark side are amazing! your a true legend! just in england none of mates know you, you should do more stuff in england to publicise yourself, like never mind the buzzcocks, you were hilarious on that, you need to do more stuff like that, and im sure soon everyone in enlgnad and britain will know you
Tim! I’m coming to see you at the New World Stages tomorrow, its my 23rd birthday and I cant wait to see the show, I hope to meet you after the show. See you tomorrow night, tootles!
Just read cool new interview with you on playbill.com. Hope the US shows rock!
http://www.playbill.com/news/article/115541.html
Hola!
I came to see the show last night (4th March) at the New World Stages and it was most entertaining! The songs were a delight, and I particularly liked how you worked a few of the audience members into the act – poor young-faced Peter. He certainly didn’t look 19!
Also, I’m surprised that you’ve taken all the c*nts out of the show. Or should that be ‘t***n all of the cunts out of the s**w’? In any case, it was a thorough delight and I heard nothing but praise as I left. Apart from the guy with the massive beard. He didn’t seem too pleased. Perhaps he was religious. Or Republican. Who knows. Who cares.
I’ll DEFINITELY be talking about this on my podcast!
Thank you!
hey hey. just want to say my friend only recently got me in into you and i beleive there was NO life before this! especially love Angry (Feet),its a good one to think about in class :)
so come to australia
now
please
because youre pretty damm awsome and even though i suck at grammar, I, and many others can appreciate youre genius live. not on youtube. cause thats just sad.
The show was so awesome def my best birthday, and your so great, I was stoked to meet you. Good luck with the rest of the shows and I will most likely bring a larger group next time!
Hi Tim, I like your material. Are you ever going to write new stuff though? I live in Australia – where can I find it? Or just find new countries to take the existing material to?
Let me know when you’ll be in the SF Bay area. Your home page is really great -Heehaw Multimedia did you good! I found you by accident – there are no accidents…Marina
Hi Tim, I love your stuff, discovered you not too long ago. I wish I had known about you earlier because you were here in Montreal in 2006. Hope you come back here sometime, I’ll be sure not to miss it.
Heelloo,, Mr. Minchin x x
>subliminal message>> SYDNEY ALL AGES SIGING AFTERWARDS
So How’s It Going !?
Id Take It Your Doing A Couple OIf Shows In New York HAHAHA :]
[peace out rock -n- roll nerd]
CASSIE..
visit:
http://www.centerforinquiry.net/forums/viewthread/3283/P0/
to see how we stopped
Randi’s Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge
Randi/Dawkins Atheist Corp….
bye bye fuckers
Hi Tim, a friend and I caught your show at New World Stages last night.
You are amazing! Wildly funny & entertaining. Thanks for a great evening and good luck with the rest of the run!
Hi Tim, I’d like to know hwere you live. Do you prefer chocolate chip or double chocolate chip cookies? Oh, and any chance ya fancy taking a trip over to ireland. Do a gig somewhere here, well by somewhere i more meant Dublin. I’ll let ya stay in my house, cook ya a fry up or something. Only joking. Well not about the gig part because im not nuts.
Hello Tim…
My girlfriend and I saw your show yesterday in New York, (here from London on Holiday)..
It was bloody brilliant.
That is all!!
Bye
TIMM!!!!!!
You MUST come to Melbourne really really soon cos I can wait to see you live…you are AMAZING!!!
Hi, Tim!!! This is wonderful!!!)))
Teehee. Stephen’s post amuses me because I’m currently being taught at Uni by a Stephen Sobol. He’s not from London though and his surname’s spelt slightly differently so I actually doubt it’s him. Besides which, he should be teaching me and my class, not jetting off to see you, as tempting as it may be.
It’s so sad that i didn’t realized you before. Yesterday i watched near by every of your videos on Youtube^^
You’re great, i love you. Such a legend ;)
Hope to see & hear more..
Greetings from Germany, Tim Julien
Saw you show last night in NY had a bushel of laughs. I think you could make it more offensive next time as you do play piano so well. Come to LA sometime again and I’ll have my friends come and see your show.
So glad you are playing in NY at New World Stages! When we first met you in 2005 in Edinburgh Off Broadway was just a dream.
I am coming again tonight……….join me won’t you……….as you are indeed so F*&%#+g Rock.
Hey Tim, i was wondering if there is sheet music available to ‘You Grew On Me’.
Timmy.
I love EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING about you and your music.
P.S. Love the hair!
Tiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmm
come to perth again…
please please please please
please please please
=D
When are you coming back to AUS again?
How much do you concerts cost to go to?
PS – why do you have to f**kn swear so much
Count me among your new US fans! I was fortunate enough to stumble onto your show at in NYC Saturday night and had a wonderful time. How delightful to hear such brilliant music combined with such clever, witty, and smutty lyrics. I can’t imagine why those uptight losers left so early but I’m glad they did; I nearly wet myself laughing when you chased after them! I’m telling all my friends to come see your show.
I think you should probably put a FAQ about cookies…
Which would be kinda funny… since your site is what has induced these cookie/address related posts.
Oh and my friend just wanted to say: OMGZ tim! i fink ur so funniez!
MAS at Amy’s comment.
Tim chased after audience members that had the audacity to leave early??? What a dag. (Said in an endearing way.) That would have been worth the admission price alone. :D
Sue
x
I’m tempted to run out of a gig just so I can be chased :)
But I’m far too introverted in theatres to do such a thing…
hullo child i strongly suggest u come play at the zoo because that would be nice. also because zoo almost rhymes with tim in the way that they have the same amount of letters in the word in question.
i also dont were shoes either, we can be friends.
***PERTH zoo by the way***
xx smallone
Keep up the good work
F**K! just watched your “So Live” DVD. You are F**king awsome with a capital OR. You’re my 14 yr old son’s embodiment of “GOD”. He’s got wild red hair, plays piano (mostly by ear, can’t really sight read)is required to attend extension classes for all core subjects (lower-end private catholic school which we sold our only daughter for to pay the fees) and has a more than healthy passion for HATING religion…In short, he’s a cynical nerd. A Perth, nerd. Do I need to remind you how small Perth is? Tim, I think I have your “immaculately concepted” son. He is now 14 yrs old… Please find/contact us and tell us what to do from here…we’re in crisis…
P.S. His dad thinks he’s his real father, but he’s tone deaf, can’t play an instrument (not counting air guitar), has no hair and is a plumber. So let’s keep this low key, and think about others’ feelings when you decide to make your much awaited contact…
Much Love
Lou & Jesse xx …. and remember “Magic Happens”…especially when the “Goddess is dancing”…
Hmmm, should I have posted this comment on “Angry feet”? Sorry, I’m old (44)…No offence intended…
Hi Louise, pop on over to the Angry (Feet) Forum, have a bit of a lurk and if you like it you can register… But only if you can mix it with the highly intelligent, witty, grammatically-correct and aesthetically-sublime individuals that are already there of course. ;)
P.S. They don’t mind if you’re old. I’m old. :D
I am just leaving a comment because I can.
Louise, check out Angry-Feet. You’ll feel right at home hahaha.
Infidel, I call an jihad upon you for using the name mohammed in vain.
Also the word nipple.
Just saw the NY show a second time…had to log on and buy me some CDs. Somebody put a man outside his show with some CDs for God’s sake. We old people forget things by the time we get home. Soon I will be able to inflict Tim on all my friends and coworkers, driving them insane with my ability to Fuckin’ Rock and use Canvas Bags.
any sheet music available to any of your songs?
oh and you are a bloody legend
You make me laugh even when I’m sad. Thank you!
where do you live?
ill bring you cookies
haha
you are so fucking rock!
TIM!!!!! ok now that i’ve got that off my chest,
hey Tim, you’re awesome, i really love all your music, especially the Adam hillsong and Darkside, you have a real way with words lol :), love it, anyway hope you come touring in Tasmania some time
Hello, I’ve just realised I’ve never read the faq section of this website, which, yes, I thought was an intriguing enough fact to post. I thought I had scoured every inch of this site during my numerous visits looking for updates over the past few years (ok, that just made me feel old and slightly sad. Also now wondering where my life went) but somehow I didn’t see that. Perhaps I had a traumatic experience involving the letters faq so my brain is blocking them out. Or not. Anyway, what I actually meant to say was, please do a show in Canberra next time you tour Australia on a date when I’m not busy. Or maybe in the uk when I’m there in July. Either way, hopefully I’ll get some stalkerising done sometime in the future. Hehe.
Hello Tim,
Long time listener, first time commenter.
Just wanted to say that you are not just the most entertaining person in the current world of out existence (i assume earth to be the residence of most of your fans) but you are also the source of me starting to learn the piano again, something i had neglected for five years after having played for six.
i enjoy not just you wonderfully funny, comic, and satirical work, but also other works i have found and bought. you truly have the touch of the best musician of our time.
thanks and never stop playing, for i will always be buying your stuff as long as i live (unless i go deaf, whereby it would seem silly to buy a CD, no matter how good it is)
Cheers,
Troy
Phomollient. That is the name of the product I am recommending to help contribute to your insane look. It comes in recyclable bottle, re-fills available, and it is quite fabulous. Apply approximately five pumps to the base of your hair, while hair is drying. I think you will find the results scientifically amazing. Hair spray may still be needed, but you will use less of it and the Earth will like you better because of your reduced unrecyclable waste. :)
Also, if you do a US tour you must visit Minneapolis/St. Paul – you will find that it is a very “nice” place. Also, if you visit, please let me know so that I may plan properly.
I like you… in a friendly way.
hey tim, me and my friend loved your dvd your style is so unique and can’t wait till you come back to australia keep me posted on when your coming back to australia. love your work keep it up!!!!!
hello. um i have an imaginary friend, he’s a turtle, he can fly his name is timothy, his name just happened to be your name. i only just realised, just then heh. i don’t like wearing shoes, but i do, so i have lots of them and have decided to stop buying them. i live in hobart, tasmania and i got out melbourne comedy gala thing because noel feilding was on it and i love the mighty boosh, oh yes i do and i saw your name on the cover and i said, “well that is familiar.” and i got it out and now i have canvas bag stuck in my head, but thats all good. please come to hobart. we have very fantastic venues, we have a venue called “the venue” it is fantastic i saw the bedroom philosipher there for the first time. you would like it if you don’t like huge places, so um if you don’t like huge places don’t go to wrest point. anyway come to hobart, we’re not that weird and make an all ages gig or something cos i’m almost sixteen. yeah so come to habart and stuff and sorry this message is horribly, awefully long.
and sorry about my spelling
the back seat in our car is littered with canvas bags.
love claire
Hey Tim, When are you playing in London? :)
Hi Tim, how are you?
Is it at all possible that you might make an appearance at the Melbourne International Film Festival? Please? :D
I like you to, but not in a Linzy way…
Nick
daVGHj great site man thanks http://peace.com
Dear Tim,
You are the sceptical, athiest, thinking woman’s sex symbol. (If you had actually kissed Adam Hills you could have been the sceptical (etc) man’s sex symbol , too.) When are you coming back to Melb? A photo of you flashes past on the current “come to Melb for the comedy festival” ads on TV, but that is a damned lie!
Hi Tim, i’m 12 and i see my mum just posted, don’t listen to her, she’s just crazy. (don’t tell her that!). Also, can you sign my canvas bag?
Chris! Get off the computer and do your homework!
I’ve been enjoying your reviews coming out of New York, especially the one that starts with the ‘surgeon general’s warning’ for asthmatics. So TRUE: Just to be safe I double-dosed my inhaler before the show.
Stay well. Work hard. Have fun. Take relaxing breaks.
Tim, I saw your NY New World Stages show last night – brilliant (although I’m not sure the Jewish Russian tourists seated around us appreciated as much)! As one of three audience members who laughed-till-I-cried about the archaic method of grain measurement joke, I’ve told everyone I know they haven’t lived until they’ve seen your show (I will be attending again with my brother next week).
By the way, did you know you have a big gay following? Once you’ve won us over, you know you’ve made it. Cher, Bette, Barbara, Tim…
Love, Gaydrian
hi tim i love all the songs u come up with, i’ve told everyone at school about u and they think your awsome also. so the reason for my comment is that i was wunndering when your next show in sydney will be cause i have never seen u live and i would realy REALY like to.
you beter be wearing appropriate socks today (i fear i have begun to emulate linzy in her sock-based curiosity)
*hugs*
You da best tim. hope you are making a new song soon! I’m ten and love your songs I would love if you could publish sheet music for some of your songs. I’ve taught myself Peace anthem for palisteine and i have a version of canvas bags for piano. I can play some of rock n roll nerd. trade canvas bags for some sheet music for fat children, you grew on me, if you open your mind to much your brain will fall out (take my wife). any of those will do. please????????????????????????????????? you could send it to my email
thanks tim!
Tis Me again.
I lovith u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have turned my friends into you!!!!
so now u have more fans!!
not that u need anymore…
EMAIL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please come to High Wycombe again. The Girly Giggle Machine will be fleeing to other parts of the country in September and we need a dose of The Minchin before we leave. Alternativly, do a University tour around the UK. York, Surrey, Exeter, Southampton, Harper Adams, Newcastle, Portsmouth, Warwick, UEA, Manchester, High Wycombe, Edinburgh, Leeds. PLEEEEEEASE.
Otherwise, more spammage of your website will occur from the Girly Giggle Machine and we’ll start using plastic bags and encourage childhood obesity and disowning the Philosophy of Tony. You have been warned.